For only $25 a month, you can get the Brady Bunch treatment for your PC. It's called the Floh Club, and I think it will be money well spent. 

Imagine it: you will install a program that, when you do something stupid, will say "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!" Or if you press the wrong key, your PC will scream "My nose!!" And, I'm pretty sure the anti-virus will feature an animated Alice cleaning up. 

In short, you need this now.